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June 27 2017






me: i hate country music

shania twain: let’s go girls!


me: i hate country music

carrie underwood: right now, he’s probably-


Me: I hate country music 

Beyoncé: daddy’s little girl 



me: i hate country music

dolly parton: jolene jolene jolene jooooleeeeeeeeene


me: i hate country music

Lady Antebellum: It’s a quarter after one!


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That child has an excellent “Watch me, Bitch” face.


Who else remembers when Harry just assumed Oliver Wood was a stick McGonagall was going to beat him with.

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LOTR + The Office


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straight friend: is she cute?

me: well first of all, all girls are cute, so jot that down


Whenever I see the same stranger multiple times, I can’t help but feel that life is telling me that I’m missing an important sidequest.



it makes me sad that so many witches are seeing the community as being part of a “trend” and trying to decide who is or isnt a “real witch”

being a witch to be part of a trend isn’t necessarily a bad thing, even if its true. more people are joining the community, and exploring magic. some people dont even practice magic, they just take pictures of themselves in witchy clothes for aesthetic purposes. but that isnt bad!!!!!

people have been dressing up as witches for centuries but recently its been giving our community a better look because people are losing the idea that witch=old hag with green skin and warts. now, witch=cute, smart, interesting, and, well, magical. its fun, and as a witch myself, i love it. it makes me proud to be a witch.

i just wish that more witches were open to the community growing. we’re becoming stronger as a whole. witches are still looked down on by many (namely christians), but its easier now more than ever to be open about our practice.

witches becoming a “trend” isnt hurting our community. i think more than anything, its helping.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be witchy, even if you aren’t sure if you want to commit to being A Witch™ as long as you aren’t trying to say being witchy is a bad thing! That’s what the old green skinned warty hag costume was saying and it got on my nerves a bit, but do you know what the new witchy fashion trend has done for my wardrobe?! It literally makes me look good, as well as helping to bring us from the fringes of society back into our rightful, normal place in everyday society.

Dress however makes you happy, lovelies ❤ your witchy ascetic isn’t hurting anything, and if any of my followers are ascetic blogs, you’re totes welcome here 😄

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It’s worth noting that Kenneth spent the entire episode making the game (and the subsequent fight) as inclusive as possible for JJ and his disabled friends (all of whom were played by disabled actors/actresses).


Bonus #2

Of course I had to show the best part:

Fun Things to do with your pet: Green Bean Test




One of my neighbors had a REALLY FAT golden retriever she adopted, that needed to be put on a diet, but even super-low-cal food wasn’t working, becuase Ella was still hungry and would open the cabinet to eat the whole bag.  Vet suggested that she needed a filler Food so she could feel full without the extra calories, and suggested canned green beans, which are mostly fiber and lean protein.

Ella fucking LOVES green beans.  She does a dance for them if you mention them.  Her ‘sibling’ the police academy washout shepherd, thinks she’s insane.

Even if your pet doesn’t like green beans*, offering them a canned green bean is inevitably HILARIOUS becuase they’ll either be thrilled or otherwise make strange faces.  Results so far:

Ella (golden retriever): Overjoyed.  gets up on her hind legs to dance without prompting.

Sampson (Black shepherd): Offended, yells until you give him REAL treats.

Cody (Gentleman shepherd): is concerned, becuase this is Obviously Not Food.  Gently takes it to be polite, leaves it out in the yard.

Minx (Domestic Shorthair cat): Smelly Toy Is Hilarious, batted under the couch.

Tiger (Really Fat Domestic Shorthair cat):  Total disgust, hissing and sulking in the Prosciutto box.  Came out and ate it later anyway.

Wanda (corn snake) we didn’t expect her to be interested but she spent like three minutes licking it.

Sadie AKA Marquis De Sade (Hyacinth Macaw)  ignored bean in favor of dumping can on the floor, sticking head in can and screaming.  Did not attempt to bite, which is Very Nice for her.

Arwen (Australian Kelpie): ate bean, waited until humans were out of the room to consume rest of the can, got costco-sized can stuck on face and pooped green for three days.  Regets nothing.

Empanada/Anderson Cooper/#3 (Plymouth Hens): Excited screaming, kickboxing tournament over possession of beans/can.  #3 was ultimately victorious, becuase She is Fattest.

Big Angus (scottish highland cow, I know, ironic): very polite and delicate acceptance of beans for appx 1700 lbs of beef, will now run full-tilt across pasture to meet me, which scared the crap out of me tbh.

Will post further updates as I am allowed to try.  

*Please always cionsult a vet before making any dietary changes or offering your pet new foods, but green beans are pretty safe for most pets you can keep in America

Gave cockatiel bean. He gently took it, threw it into my face, and laughed at me

Literally every time someone has tried this with a parrot of some kind, it’s resulted in rage, destruction or mockery, usually all three.

Wildly entertaining tho.

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this is actually the best post on the internet i lied every other time i said that


did you click on my blog expecting “jokes”?? Fool. I am the joke

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the first step towards confidence is not being afraid to be ugly

once you get over the fear of being unattractive and stop equating beauty with other good things in life (friends, love, happiness) it’s a lot easier to love yourself unconditionally

your job is not to sit around and be pretty and easy on everyone else’s eyes

your job is to do whatever the fuck you want and look however the fuck you want while doing it



Merriam-Webster’s social media is the only thing giving me hope in these dark times



I think one of the funniest things I’ve accidentally taught my parrot is yelling “WHAT?”

The best part is that if he says something weird and and someone else says “what???” he usually repeats what he just said.

Like just now, I was cooking in the kitchen and he heard me boiling water so he asked “you wanna noodle?” but I couldn’t quite hear him so I yelled “WHAT” and he repeated “you wanna noodle?”

Mostly he just likes yelling it, though.

Less funny things I’ve accidentally taught my parrot:

  • to make the smoke detector noise every time someone makes toast
  • to make gross eating noises at us when he wants us to share our food
  • to announce that he is about to poop just about every time he poops
  • to demand payment in the form of peanuts for every instance of good behavior
  • no seriously he says “I get a peanut” every single time and gets VERY MAD if not given a peanut

Actually genuinenly enjoying my customer service job sometimes




Customer (calling from Ireland): “Yes hello, I would like to -”

Sheep in the background: *gentle baa*

Customer: “Uh, sorry, what I want to do is -”

Sheep: *slightly more insistent baa*

Customer: “No, not now! -cough- Excuse me. I have a reservation and -”


Customer: Arnulf! Please be quiet, I am on the phone! … Sorry, I sincerely apologize on behalf of Arnulf.”

me: “I love and forgive him.”

Customer: “Don’t, he doesn’t deserve it. Anyway, I’m calling about -”

Arnulf: *small, very self-satisfied baa*

I once took my kids to a local farm and we found a lil goat with its horns stuck in a fence, just sitting there kinda mournfully on the grass. We tried to help it get free but it was stuck tight. We petted it for a while and fed it some grass (as it had lawnmowered a circle around itself as far as it could reach), and then went back to the ticket office to tell them it needed help, but before I’d said more than: “There’s a goat-” the guy cut me off with a weary wave and said, “Yeah, we know. Stuck in the fence. That’s Brenda. She can get herself out whenever she wants. She just likes the attention.” 

Trolled by a fucking goat. 

i’m fucking dying
“yeah that’s brenda”


I want to live in a ghibli movie and wear cute outfits and have my room filled with flowers and magic

June 26 2017

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In celebration of the 20th anniversary of Harry Potter!
(Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone published on June 26, 1997)

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